I am no longer welcomed in polite society, my Uber rating is too low.

Bertie once pointed out that it is precisely when the chap feels particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping. My Uber rating dropped down to an all-time low of 4.98 out of 5. I am now in the camp with psychopaths, murderers, raging alcoholics and deviants of the lowest grade. Child molesters look down on me and I am no longer welcomed in polite society. In life marked by so much promise, how did I stoop so low?

Early life offers many gauges by which to evaluate your social performance. Get good grades, a few awards along the way and you can safely conclude that you are plotting in the right direction. What of later years though? It has been a few years since I last received a grade for anything I've done, or done anything that deserved a grade in the first place. In China, social credit rating system, however controversial, allows one to compare oneself to a model of ideal citizen. But I don't live in China. As far as I can tell, Uber rating is the only viable show in town and present trend indicates nothing short of a moral crisis. 

My decline could be marked in stages. In the latest chapter, I had to take L--- home following her birthday party. During which as predicted by Oscar Wilde, alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, did indeed produce all the effects of drunkenness. As we piled on into D---'s Prius, with all the exuberance of a travelling circus show, I have warned L--- that I wasn't willing to sacrifice my stellar passenger record on her behalf and she would have to behave. She proceeded to fling a banana peel across the vehicle in my general direction and things unraveled from there. 

I'll be the first to admit that low rating for such a trying journey is well deserved. Though, I do not think it was D--- who gave me one. He seemed to grasp that I was dealing with a calamity beyond my control. Souls bond in the time of trial and we have both suffered during that ride. So much so, he promised to give me 5 stars and D--- really didn't strike me as the sort of fella who promises you a steak for dinner and delivers a ham sandwich instead. This is a disturbing thought, for it implies that I have been uncouth on at least one other occasion previously and haven't even noticed. 

One doesn't mean to dwell on failures of the past but its good to keep these things on record for future reference. So here I am, left to ponder what other transgressions of mine have gone unchecked at the moral register. Do you know of any? Please write if you do. After all, I'll need to talk about something with my future therapist in 20-odd years and life of privilege doesn't offer anywhere near enough issues to keep her on the retainer.